Introducing the

Lirpa 1

Wireless Cable!

The Greene Sheet is proud to be the nation’s exclusive Lirpa One dealer!

Never connect a cable again!

Who among us is not familiar with the old adage that 80% of equipment problems are really cable problems? Cables have been the bane of installers and troubleshooters worldwide for over 100 years.

What if you never had to connect another cable ever again?

The Lirpa 1 is your solution. The Lirpa 1 is a fully bidirectional wireless cable! Each Lirpa 1 is both transmitter and receiver so a Lirpa 1 will work on input or output –just plug one in anywhere. The Lirpa 1 uses spread spectrum wireless technology for support of virtually unlimited devices and fully encrypted secure transmissions.

Better yet with Lirpa-aware devices your system is self configuring!

Technology

Using a proprietary and patented rare earth carbon nanotube sputtering process and employing exclusive vapor deposited molybdenum precipitate occlusions the Lirpa 1 engineering team has achieved the elusive and long sought mil spec for multiple rebendables making it surprisingly robust -and thermally self approximating!

A blue ribbon consortium of industry professionals from IEEE, NAB, DARPA, CDC, NIH, NASA, CIA, FBI, BBC, NOAA and the Department of Homeland Security (Total Information Awareness subunit) have devised the LEG (Lirpa Experts Group) standards. The Leg standards (V4.01.04) have been finalized and manufacturers worldwide (with the exception of Sony which has it’s own competing technology) are pulling for the LEG standard.

Installation

Simply twist a Lirpa 1 transmitter/receiver onto every input and output in your facility. The Lirpa 1 auto senses the device at the other end.

If you prefer, you can manually set all parameters on your LirpaNet through the wireless LirpaHub using the free LirpaSoft html client -or customize your own software with the LirpaAPI and create LirpaRuntime apps... –or not.

With a tx/rx distance of 4.1 miles your install options become many. Think of the money you’ll save on office rental. You can work in the comfy surroundings of a posh office while your Lirpa-enabled devices happily hum away in an inexpensive storage locker behind the pizza joint down the block.

Ordering

Pre-orders are being taken now for Lirpa 1 wireless cables but orders will be limited to qty (1).

About the Inventor

Dr. Ersatz Lirpa (the first) was born a small child in Garagekey, Czechoslovakia, the town of his birth, which was a spa town well known as a place where people could go to recover from secondhand smoke. He attended primary school there but was expelled after a childish prank involving a shotgun, a zeppelin, a dead cat, and a fishpole.

Of course World War II began while Lirpa was studying in Prague. After the German armies took Prague, Lirpa was forced to work for peanuts as a telemarketer. He completed his disrupted secondary education around the time the war ended and, after graduating with a GED and getting a job at a local Starbucks, he entered the Czech Technical University. Then in 1947, although only two years old, Lirpa began teaching at the Czech Technical University where he taught.

At age 5 an early trauma forever altered young Lirpa’s life when the hapless boy became entangled in telephone cables at a local substation. Without food, water or a set of dikes Lirpa remained captive until a kindly janitor freed the dazed and weakened lad. Vowing to avenge his filamentous captors he set about mathematically proving (borrowing from the new field of quantum physics) that wires do not actually exist, or more correctly -exist only when they are observed. Thus the foundations of Lirpa’s signature out-of the-box thinking were laid eventually resulting in the breakthrough Lirpa 1 wireless cable.

Hailed as a genius in Birkina Faso, Lirpa has won the 2003 Nobel Prize for Cable and sits on the board of directors (though they are none too happy about it as Lirpa, now 89 has apparently never heard of the Atkins diet.)

FCC Warning

This equipment has been tested and found to comply with the regulations for a Class B digital device, pursuant to Part 15 of

the FCC Rules. These limits are designed to provide reasonable protection against boneheaded users untrained installers and spontaneous combustion. Do not operate without adult supervision.

This equipment generates, uses, and can radiate dark energy and antimatter. If not installed and used in accordance with the user’s guide, your facility may annihilate itself if a competitor moves in next door.

Operation of this equipment in a residential area is likely to cause harmful interference, in which case the user will be required to cook dinner, walk the dog and otherwise sooth neighbors as appropriate and at his own expense.

CE Mark Warning

This equipment should not (and probably could not) be operated in Canada or the EU under any circumstances.

Japanese Version

Excellent design of unique appearance is not only installation procedure easily, but also closing your CPU tight and flexible. For to enjoying non-disruptive, smooth evolution nature from current technology the Lirpa One dominating potential market base, virtually guarantee cost effective and high performance solution for the year to come.

Please to give order now.