Press Release
Greene Sheet First to Offer
Panasonic Liquid
State
In a bold and unexpected move, Panasonic of Japan, following their visionary and highly successful P2 solid state video storage technology has stunned the production world with yet another scientific first in media storage -a new liquid state storage technology dubbed "PP". According to Matsushita, the parent company of Panasonic, the liquid state storage device relies on Quantum Nanohydrology, a line of scientific inquiry developed under wraps at Panasonic's Yokahama based Panatechnic Imbedded State Storage (or PISS) research facility.
Relying
on newly discovered papers by the well known Dr. Ersatz Lirpa, who pioneered
wireless transmission with the famous Lirpa 1 wireless cable (brought to light
on The Greene Sheet at Bstock.com a mere two years ago.) the pocket sized
device will interface with any field acquisition camera from any manufacturer
and support all analog and digital I/O signals. (In another first the company
is test marketing the new technology exclusively through The Greene Sheet,
Inc.,
Quantum nanohydrology, the technology behind PP, is the study of liquid at the nanoscale where quantum effects cause the liquid to behave in unpredictable and counterintuitive ways. To understand Quantum Nanohydrology it is useful to think of the liquid/quantum effects in terms of what happens in a lavatory environment. The chaotic swirling state created during a flush cycle creates quantum holes that allow the new PP technology to exist in superposition, sort of a "wet" Schrödinger’s cat if you will, i.e. being both contained and flushed at the same time. In plain English, data can be stored and rewritten over without the need to erase.
Furthermore, "Everything you have ever recorded actually stays on the media and can be instantly recovered no matter how many times you record new material" said O. Filime Bonibelli, Matsushita's senior nanohydrology expert and author of the seminal paper "Liquid State Nanohydrologicial Data Storage in Quantum and Other Highly Ambient Domains" appearing in the April 1st Italian Journal “Ersatz Fabrication”.
The revolutionary superposition state confers other benefits to the production professional. It relies on "action at a distance", i.e., a quantum nanohydrological particle or "drop" can be split into two particles and separated by unlimited distances -each particle perpetually mirroring the state of its companion particle! For production professionals the possibilities may not, at first, be apparent.
"If
you think about it; the drop in your camera [the storage pak
resembles a miniature glass thermos bottle] and the drop on the
"drip" drive back at your facility are always in the same quantum nanohydrological state. When the drops change in the camera
their companions instantaneously change back
at your facility -instantaneous transmission without wires or delay! Dr.
Lirpa [right] would be quite proud of our achievement based on his pioneering
early work."
Users do need to refill the PP Pak with the appropriate "golden fluid". When asked how much Panasonic intended to charge for the fluid, Bonibelli said "you, uh, misunderstand. The, uh, golden fluid...I must be delicate here... you make it yourself you see". Leaving this reporter to ponder his meaning, Bonibelli excused himself and headed to the lavatory. Returning with what apparently was the precious golden fluid in question Bonibelli demonstrated the new QuickFill technology which enables shooters to refill "on-the fly", as it were. Exclaimed Bonibelli, "I think video pro's the world over will find this technology quite... relieving". Couldn't have said it better myself!
Contact Uncle Geo at The Greene Sheet about participating in the test marketing.
Brought to you by
